Have you ever been physically abused by a romantic partner? How did it make you feel – angry, helpless, bitter, betrayed? And more importantly, did you retain the same relationship with that person after he or she revealed that violent tendency?
I recently spent time with the brilliant Byron Katie, author of the exceptional classic book, Loving What Is. As she discussed “The Work” – her trademark system that helps individuals come to peace with all of the truths about themselves so they can be free to find happiness – one participant stood up and asked how to come to peace with physical abuse. Katie masterfully described a fenced yard, with a dog and a sign that says: “This Dog Bites.” She explained that if you do not want to get bitten, you simply walk away from the yard. However, if you enter the yard and get bitten, “the dog did not bite you; you bit yourself.”